I need help, one time, no avenues left
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I need help, one time, no avenues left

Hello kind people,

This is the first time in my life I have ever asked for money, and I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to do it, only that I don't like doing it. I want to say that I'll give it all back one day, but I don't want to promise something I might not be able to carry out... only that if I can, I will.

About 5 years ago, I had to end (no option - women will understand) a marriage in the year prior to becoming a senior, and eventually found myself, with 3 cats and 2 big dogs, living in an old, seriously rickety house, way out in the country - a recent and foreign place for me - but more affordable than a town, with no family or friends for hundreds and hundreds of miles around. Through lack of foresight and effectively no legal help, I had very little to live on, but after an outright betrayal by my ex regarding taxes, I became, with one day's warning, ineligible for a pension that could have at least meant basic survival. Details are unlikely to be of interest to anyone else now and there's nothing more to be done at this point - that's been established.

The last few years have been incredibly stressful, especially as I had to give away my long time animal friends except for one cat, pretty much a nightmare for me as I swore I wouldn't do that. I've tried so hard to live on what there is, but for the first time in my life could not manage - there are only so many ways to stretch some things and, also for the first time in my life have gone into debt so I can continue to live somewhere, to eat and to not sleep in my little old car. I've always paid my own way but relentless interest payments sabotage every attempt to get ahead of the debt, and I believe I may be on the street sometime this year (and it gets very, very cold here). I've tried over and over to find work, any work , but this community simply won't give seniors a chance, definitely not relative outsiders such as I am, and in any case it is a very small place to begin with.

I feel sick writing this - not because I feel sorry for myself but because I am angry that I did not make a better job of things, maybe not take some things (or people) for granted, but here I am, though I don't know now how long that will be for.

If someone out there is amazing enough to be able to help a total stranger - one who has been truthful about her story - I would be beyond grateful, and if not, still wish you well. Thank you for listening.


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