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I AM APPEALING TO THE GENEROSITY OF ANY AND ALL KIND-HEARTED SAMARITANS LIKE MYSELF.
I'M PLEADING FOR THREE THINGS. FIRST AND FOREMOST, AT LEAST INASMUCH AS YOU ARE WILLING TO GIVE IT, YOUR COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING. AND THIRDLY BUT ALMOST AS IMPORTANT, I'M SEEKING ANY AMOUNT OF FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE AT YOUR DISPOSAL WITHIN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
If you are curious to know why someone like me has to appear on this web page, begging for assistance, then please read on. But if you don't have neither the patience nor the time to read this entire document, then please skip ahead to the last 3 paragraphs, where you will find the bare naked answers that you want to see. And rest assured that this is not a scam. I can actually prove everything I tell you if you wish.
I don't know to what extent, you may or may not have the capacity to comprehend, exactly how hard it is to resist giving in to the temptation, of explaining in extensive detail the reasons behind my being here before you playing the victim of circumstances role. However, I will tell you that just out of respect for your time, I will spare you the long version of my story, with all the crucial but boring little nuances of how and why I came to end up in my presently helpless financial situation. And even though chances are that you and I will never meet, simply out of respect for your intelligence, I will recount to you only the truth, without embellishments and exaggerations designed to appeal to your sense of pity, nor your sense of guilt by falsely leading you to believe that I'm terminally ill, because I'm not. In fact one of the few but very fortunate blessings in my life, has always remained one of a constant 97% excellent health. It would be 100% only if I were able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and possess X-ray vision to look through the clothing of beautiful ladies. (Hey, what's the point of having superhuman powers if you can't use them for your own selfish reasons once in a while? And besides, I'm not ashamed to admit that I absolutely adore the female form in all its glorious splendor, so sue me.!!)
In an effort to remain totally honest with you, I will instead just offer you the humble though philosophically tainted opinions and assessment, of my present circumstances. And I can only hope that through these, you might be able to gain at least some limited insight into the quiet desperation and sheer hopelessness which I suspect that some of the other people on this website may also feel, but are unable to express for one reason or another.
Like the majority of us, I have had grandiose ambitions and aspirations most of my life. For example, aside from the usual stuff like, eliminating pollution and crime, and forcing everyone to co-exist in peace, since I was a child I have wished that I could be elected to rule this planet, just so that I could make it a better world by getting completely rid of Cockroaches, mosquitoes, flies, tobacco and last but not least, onions!! Because those are the the only five things in life which I have always hated with a pink and purple passion!! (I would let spiders be.) Until I realized just how unrealistic my plan was, although given half a chance, I would still try to eradicate onions for the benefit of mankind. Now if that's not a lofty and grandiose enough goal for you I don't know what to tell you. Yes, I'm kidding of course, except about the onions. (You don't understand how badly I despise them!) But I'm jesting in order to illustrate the point that I'm probably not much different from anyone else. And also like most of us who go through the unavoidable series of disappointments and disillusions of life since early childhood, a significant number of those dreams have inevitably fallen by the wayside.
Needless to say, it would become much too complicated if I tried to explain in writing exactly who I am and what my belief systems are. It would likely take the length of an entire book, volumes I and II. But if it makes any difference toward making your decision, without passing the slightest judgment on anyone else, because we all have reasons for being who we are. I will more easily and briefly tell you what I am not.
I'm explaining all this to point out that even though I am somewhat jaded toward life, I have somehow managed to steer away from major trouble. But the undeniable fact remains, that my personality has always had a strong propensity to timidness and introversion. Coupled to the effects of having been moved around continuously in my formative years. All of which translates into a person who just does not have a particularly powerful nor large circle of friends which one can turn to in times of need. And the few family members I can count on for anything, are all behind a similar financial black-ball to mine. So much so, that I'm almost tempted to believe our whole family and all its descendants, might have been cursed by some vindictive witch in the past century.
Even so I do not have any future plans to use that as a justification to become a trouble-making criminal. On the contrary, I have always tried to help others, within my own limited possibilities.
I have never been involved with drugs and it's subsequent addictions nor other implications. Legal or otherwise.
I do drink alcohol socially but I don't frequent bars because of the cigarette smell, and have never given cause to get pulled over by police and handed a ticket for drunk driving
Even though I had a troubled childhood, I never looked for the acceptance or shelter of any gang nor its members. And although I had the typically volatile and rebellious teen-age temper, I was never prone to gratuitous violence.
I don't spend my money at the race track and have never been the gambling type. The one and only time I stayed in Las Vegas many many moons ago, I played with a one dollar slot machine for about 45 minutes and lost. But I didn't start crying 'till after having left my seat for no more than 30 seconds to get some change, when a seemingly sweet elderly lady, beat me back to my seat by two steps, placed two coins into the same machine I was playing on, and instantly hit a $7,000.00 Jackpot. Yes, I did have to fight off the impulse to kill her on the spot, but have always wondered if the Judge would have let me off the hook when I claimed that it was a crime of passion. (Sweet revenge is a form of passion, isn't it?)
I am able-bodied, perfectly capable of physical labor and not lazy by any means. I am however, very much aware of the value of my time, and I'm therefore increasingly unwilling to exchange my good health for the miserable minimum wage earnings that most employers want to pay.
And lastly, I always have tried to honor my word. But it would be disingenuous of me to pretend that I have never broken a promise. This last point is important because, if you feel like helping me out, but would prefer to make it a loan instead of an outright donation, I want you to know that I don't have a problem with that, and we can work something out, as long as it doesn't involve sexual favors! Unless of course, you happen to be a non-smoking, slim and pretty young lady. I would never back down from such a sacrifice.! (Kidding, people!! Just kidding!!)
I'm not saying any of this is to imply that I consider myself any kind of a saint, because I do have my short-comings as everyone does. But I am, or at least try to be, a basically all-around good person. And I'm convinced that you should not feel any sort of apprehension in helping me out of a bad spot. Who knows, we might even spark up a long lasting friendship, and life going around in circles such as it does, maybe in the future I will be in a better position, and have the opportunity to repay the favor somehow. If not directly to you, then perhaps to someone close to you! So with that purpose in mind, here's my e-mail address in case you wish to contact me:
AT THIS POINT I HAVE RUN OUT OF OPTIONS IN MY RACE AGAINST TIME. SO I AM BEGGING FOR WHATEVER AMOUNT YOU CAN AFFORD TO GIVE, IN ORDER TO SAVE A STORAGE SPACE THAT I RENT, FROM THE AUCTION LIST WHICH IT'S CURRENTLY ON. I NEED TO RAISE $2,000.oo BEFORE THE 20th. OF DECEMBER TO BE PRECISE. AND SO FAR, THROUGH MY OWN EFFORTS I HAVE ONLY GATHERED $570.oo
A LONG TIME AGO, WHEN I MOVED MY STUFF THERE. THEY USED TO ACCEPT PARTIAL PAYMENTS, BUT IN THIS AGE OF MEGA-MERGERS, I THINK IT WAS ACQUIRED BY GENERAL ELECTRIC, AND THEY DECIDED TO CHANGE THE RULES SO THAT IF ANY TENANT IS JUST 10 CENTS SHORT OF THE COMPLETE RENTAL FEE, THE PAYMENT WILL BE REFUSED SO THEY CAN TURN AROUND AND MAKE MORE MONEY FROM THAT TENANT THROUGH LATE CHARGES AND VARIOUS OTHER FEES.
NOW, IT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR. I AM NOT A MATERIALISTIC TYPE OF PERSON. AFTER ALL, MATERIAL POSSESSIONS CAN ALWAYS BE REPLACED. HOWEVER MOST OF THE THINGS IN THAT SPACE ARE IRREPLACEABLE TO ME DUE TO THEIR STRONG SENTIMENTAL VALUE. AND IT'S ONLY LOGICAL THAT THE PERSONS BIDDING ON THIS SPACE AT AUCTION, UNDER THE MISGUIDED NOTION THAT IT MAY HOLD SOME VALUABLE TREASURE WORTH THEIR MONEY, ARE MERELY GOING TO THROW ALL OF IT IN THE TRASH, WITHOUT GIVING A RAT'S ASS JUST HOW IMPOTENT I AM FEELING FROM 3,000 MILES AWAY, AFTER THEY DISCOVER THEIR MISTAKE. SO PLEASE HELP ME SAVE IT. I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW GRATEFUL I WOULD BE! AND I DO APOLOGIZE FOR SUCH A SHORT NOTICE, BUT I HAD NOT DISCOVERED THIS METHOD OF SHOUTING FOR HELP UNTIL TODAY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND INTEREST.
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